don't look if it bugs you..

                                                      Don't look if it bugs you.

            Yes, they are dead. Dead or sleeping forever at the feet of the cat goddess.

This is Ghost, my rarest flower.

Each breath she takes is a breath of mine, each breath she took was  mine exhaled, with me or without.

If you know me well, you know who Ghost is, and that she keeps coming home over and over. Then she dies.

She watches through my artwork, a frail kitten over bones, always over bones. You can see her if you look, in the arms of the cat goddess, eyes in drawings, the dead kitten floating over the pile of raku bones.... always over bones...

This time I did not get to meet her, she left so quick. I am greatful though that she had warmth and care for the time she was here.

                                        We are grateful for the time that we have....

                          Until you make it home baby, and stay. I listen for you....

                       To Ghost, with my heart and my love...... waiting for you again.

                          Ghost, as a kitten. This was her second time coming home- 

She lived for 8 years, happy until the last night when I knew she was to die on the morrow. She died in my hands as I pushed the plunger of euthanasia solution. She had a heart based tumor. I am always brave. I alway push the plunger for them. I have always promised to be there every step of the way.

The first time she died in my hands as a kitten, struggling to breath. She was only 2 months old. Her last breath burnt in my chest and in my eyes. I'd raised her from several days old. I knew she was the one who would break my heart.  I have a faded photograph of her in an incubator, at 10 days old, crying for milk.

And her skull. Her skulls sleep with the ancestor skulls. With her friends. They always know where to come home to.

                               We are grateful for the time that we have........

                        Don't look if it bugs you.... yes, they are dead. All dead.